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The third full-length from Deep Sea Diver, Impossible Weight
is a work of sublime highs and mesmerizing lows, its restless intensity both
unsettling and transcendent. For bandleader Jessica Dobson, the album’s sonic
and emotional expanse stems from a period of sometimes-brutal
self-examination—a process that began not long after the Seattle-based
four-piece finished touring for their acclaimed sophomore effort Secrets.
“We went into the studio pretty quickly after the tour
ended, and I sort of hit a wall where I was feeling very detached from making
music, and unable to find joy in it,” says the vocalist/multi-instrumentalist,
whose bandmates include her husband Peter Mansen (drums), Garrett Gue (bass), and
Elliot Jackson (guitar, synth). “I realized I had to try to rediscover my voice
as a songwriter, and figure out the vocabulary for what I needed to say on this
album.”
As she stepped back from the studio, Dobson focused on
dealing with the depression she’d been struggling with, and soon started
volunteering for Aurora Commons (a drop-in center for unhoused people, most of
whom are drug-dependent and engage in street-survival-based sex work). “I spent
a lot of time with the women who frequent the Commons, and it taught me a new
depth of empathy,” she says. “They’re people who don’t have the luxury of going
back to a home at the end of the day and hiding behind those four walls, so
they’re sort of forced to be vulnerable with what their needs are. Talking with
them and listening to them really freed me up to start writing about things I’d
never written about before in my songs.”
Co-produced by Dobson and Andy D. Park (Pedro the Lion,
Ruler) and mainly recorded at Seattle’s Studio X and The Hall of Justice, Impossible
Weight brings that emotional excavation to a more grandiose sound than Deep Sea
Diver has ever attempted. Along with revealing the limitless imagination of
Dobson’s guitar work—a prodigious talent she’s previously shown in playing lead
guitar for artists like Beck and The Shins—the album’s lush textures and
mercurial arrangements more fully illuminate the power of her vocals. “’I’d
never produced a record before and I started out with low expectations for
myself, but at some point I realized, ‘I can do this,’” Dobson recalls. “I
decided to completely trust my voice and make really bold decisions in all my
production calls—just push everything to the absolute outer edges.”
On the title track to Impossible Weight, Deep Sea Diver
prove the incredible precision of those instincts. Featuring guest vocals from
Sharon Van Etten, “Impossible Weight” unfolds in radiant grooves and frenetic
fits of guitar, its lyrics presenting a bit of wisdom extracted from Dobson’s
time at Aurora Commons. “In the past I’d often tell myself, ‘This other person
is going through something worse than I am, so their pain weighs more,’” she
says. “‘Impossible Weight’ is about finding more compassion for yourself,
instead of discrediting your pain in that way.”
The luminous opening track to Impossible Weight, “Shattering
the Hourglass” makes for a perfect introduction to the album’s sonic
complexity, beginning in intimate reflection before shifting into a wildly
sprawling anthem. But despite its kinetic orchestration, the song’s dynamics
never overshadow its central lyric: “You don’t have to be strong enough.” “I
wrote that one the same week my friend and former bandmate Richard Swift was
spending his last days in hospice because of complications from alcoholism,”
notes Dobson, referring to the beloved singer/songwriter/producer, also known
for his work with The Shins. “I was thinking about how everyone’s facing some
kind of battle, and how I wish we could all talk more openly about these
things. I wish we could give ourselves that license to fall apart, so that
others can help carry us to a better place.”
In her commitment to radical vulnerability, Dobson lays her
own needs bare on songs like “Lights Out”: a defiant yet strangely delicate
track that takes on a thrilling momentum as she cycles through an entire world
of moods, her voice careening from growling to tender. “‘Lights Out’ was
written around the time I hit that wall when we first started working on the
record; it’s about fumbling through the darkness and knowing I damn well need
help getting out,” she says. Meanwhile, on “Wishing,” Deep Sea Diver deliver a
stormy and psych-leaning number sparked from Dobson’s viewing of a documentary
on Nina Simone. “She had a husband who was physically and emotionally abusive
to her, and it made me think about the idea of being under the thumb of someone
else, and not knowing how to get in control of your life again,” Dobson says.
“I have a tendency to try to resolve the narrative by the time I get to the end
of the song, but for that one I didn’t—which felt right, because that’s what
life is like.”
On “Eyes Are Red (Don’t Be Afraid),” Impossible Weight
reaches its glorious climax, a seven-minute epic that builds to an instrumental
breakdown centered on Dobson’s beautifully unhinged guitar work. Not only a
triumphant turning point in her musicianship and production approach, “Eyes Are
Red (Don’t Be Afraid)” marks a major leap in Dobson’s songwriting. “Lyrically
that’s the most uncomfortable song for me on the album,” she says, noting that
the track was partly inspired by Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony against
Brett Kavanaugh and the collective trauma endured by women everywhere. “There’s
so much anger and frustration in it, and it made sense to express that in
plainspoken lyrics. I ended up with these phrases that are almost like mantras:
‘Don’t be afraid. Don’t be ashamed.’ A lot of my musical heroes tend to be very
poetic, but sometimes there’s so much more meaning in saying things simply.”
For Dobson, redefining the limits of her artistry goes
hand-in-hand with certain identity issues she faced during the making of Impossible
Weight. “I was adopted and just recently met my birth mother, and found out
that I’m half-Mexican and half-Jewish,” she explains. “Discovering my heritage
and learning things about myself that I never knew before really fed into that
question of ‘Where do I belong?’” At the same time, Dobson restored the sense
of possibility she felt in first embarking on her music career, which included
landing a deal at Atlantic Records at the age of 19. “I think being signed at
such a young age messed me up in terms of the expectations I put on myself,”
she says. “Somewhere along the way I lost confidence in my own vision, but
after making this record I feel a much larger freedom to go in whatever
direction I want with my music.”
With the release of Impossible Weight, Dobson hopes that
others might reclaim a similar sense of freedom in their emotional lives.
“Especially right now when the world is in disarray and there’s so much fear, I
want this record to give people room to feel whatever they need to feel,” she
says. “I hope it helps them recognize that it’s okay to fall apart, and that
they’re meant to let others in instead of trying to work through everything on
their own. Because the point is that the impossible weight isn’t yours to carry
alone—that’s why it’s impossible.”
Talent
Deep Sea Diver
Natalie Schepman